install theme

oniongentleman:

rockettripsandbattleships:

I hate this

I’ve had this on loop for an hour now, someone send help

(Source: vine.co)

rexuality:

i was waiting on the pizza delivery guy to call me to say my pizza is here and when my phone rang i accidentally answered with “Pizza?” instead of hello and he replied “yes this is pizza”

2srooky:

One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.

hanukkahlewinsky:

friend: “i can only bring one friend. wanna go?” 

me:

image

shitshilarious:

shitshilarious:

DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS

max wants to make it clear that he is grateful for the 100k notes but that he is normally a lot more easy going and professional 

haussofkm:

mockeryd:

Dog: I AM SORRY BABY HUMAN! DO NOT CRY ANYMORE! i SHALL BRING YOU MORE TOYS

The cutest thing ever.

(Source: sizvideos)